This morning on my way to the studio, I was listening to an interview with actress Michelle Williams on NPR’s Fresh Air. In it she said, “I think the reason I go to work every day, is to expand my sense of freedom”. This struck me so hard. It made me realize that I often (even after all these years, and all these paintings), allow fear, insecurities, and “shoulds” have far too heavy an influence over my work - really getting in the way of that freedom.
I’m guessing it’s one part being a long-time people pleaser / rule follower; one part being a female in what can still feel like a male dominated field; and one part being a middle aged white lady that feels maybe not cool enough for the Art world. There are a lot of angles to Studio anxiety. But when I finally push those interlopers away and get to work, the one thing I always find is freedom.
Creating is where I feel most me, most stripped down to just the core: curious, joyful, happy. That, in turn, makes me feel brave and powerful. It’s good stuff. I appreciate being reminded of that on my drive in this morning.
I hope you have places and practices that allow you to feel that same way,
xo, mwj